Friends - the family we choose
People are social creatures. Interactions with friends enable us to meet our need to connect with others, which leads to feelings of security, belonging, and love. While our vision and needs of friendship change with age, it is typical that in close friendships we desire an intimate interpersonal relationship based on trust.
Our actions, ideas, and emotions are frequently motivated by the need to connect with others. Connecting with others provides us with security, affection, enjoyment, a sense of togetherness as well as a sense of belonging, and our friends play an important role in this. People like to say that friends are a "family" that we choose ourselves. Although the way we choose friends changes depending on our age, there are several characteristics that are common among lifetime friendships. So, let us discover the realm of friendship and see how we perceive friendship from preschool to maturity.
Play is the key "ingredient" of preschool friendships; preschoolers perceive playing and the exchange of toys as friendship. Even at this early age, friends have a special role in our lives. We frequently greet them, converse, and laugh with them. At school age, however, friendship becomes something more than merely playing together, transforming into a relationship based on collaboration, sharing, and understanding. At this age, children choose friends who are similar to them in terms of age, gender, hobbies, personality traits, popularity, school accomplishments, and so on.
Adolescence is the time when friendships shine brightest. Close friends are usually the first individuals we trust, and through this relationship we learn more about each other. Friends enable us to have fun and socialize, but they also make it easier for us to meet new people and find romantic partners. As we get older, friendly ties might fade into the background, making it difficult for us to find time and energy for friends. Close friendships, on the other hand, are crucial because friends celebrate with us in our moments of joy and also support us in difficult and stressful times. It is important to remember that friendships improve our mental health and are worth the effort.
As we can see, our friendships evolve as we grow and develop, yet certain aspects remain constant. Friends complete our needs for connection, intimacy and support. It is a relationship built on loyalty and trust, and when these are not present, the entire friendship finds itself on shaky grounds. Mutual affection so delicately imbues the entire friendly relationship that we are often unaware of it. The benefits of a quality friendship are numerous, which is why we must carefully select and nurture relationships with this "family" we choose ourselves.
mag. psych. Iva Vukojević, Assistant
